THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF GIMLI SON OF GLOIN

DAY ONE

Grr. Argh.

DAY TWO

Faffing about in Rivendell with stuck-up elves v. bad for my digestion. Have
asked Elrond to move me to second floor as cannot get into bathroom here withou
t
being subjected to sight of hobbits bathing amongst scented candles. Is ridicul
ous.
Got splashed with strawberry bath foam yesterday. On plus side, beard now silky
and conditioned.


DAY THREE

Elrond refuses to move my room. Walked in on hobbits again this morning. What
WERE they doing with that carrot? Inbred bunch of halfwits, no wonder they can'
t
even grow decent beards.

DAY SEVEN

Suspect Aragorn son of Arathorn of being pervy hobbit-fancier. Completely ignor
ing
hottie elf fiancče in favor of barging about with hairy-footed gnomes in leathe
r
breeches. Fortunately I, Gimli son of Gloin, am here to take care of her loneli
ness.


Later.

Elf women just the right height to keep my ears warm. Go me!

DAY NINE

Have agreed to go on Quest. Arwen getting awfully grabby. Gimli son of Gloin
will not be tied down. Would rather spend time with touchy-feely hobbits and
poncy elves than hang about Rivendell taking about 'our relationship.'


DAY THIRTEEN

V. cold on top of Caradhras. Big fight over who got to carry hobbits up the
mountain. Did not participate as was busy showing Legolas how to get hair braid
ed
just right. Fight ended when Aragorn picked up Ringbearer and stuffed him in
his trousers. That's right, Isildur's Heir. Suffocate the Ringbearer. Honestly,
these people.



DAY FOURTEEN

In Mines of Moria. May have made slight miscalculation, as it seems that cousin
Balin has been dead for at least sixty years. Suppose it should have occurred
to me that has been a while since last got Christmas card from the Moria folks.
Still, cannot be expected to keep track of everything.



DAY FIFTEEN

Gandalf fell into shadow. Hobbits used as excuse to have teary cuddlefest on
rocks. Suffered manly embrace from Boromir, although he kept jabbing Horn of
Gondor into my solar plexus. At least, hope that was the Horn of Gondor. Does
not bear thinking about if not.


DAY SIXTEEN

Legolas told me Aragorn is way into Frodo. Sam will kill him if he tries anythi
ng.
Suggested to Legolas that we might want a leader who is less of a lech. Legolas
then asked if I wanted to take a bath with him. Beginning to suspect that all
that Elvish poetry about the glory of warrior-bonds between men just big cover-
up
for illicit spanking games.


DAY TWENTY

In Lothlorien. Galadriel quite the babe. While hobbits off power cuddling and
Boromir chasing Aragorn, had time to show her a few dwarf tricks. Nothing fancy
,
just a bit of Hide the Helmet and Delving In The Mines. V. satisfactory for
everyone, except possibly Celeborn. On second thought, maybe that was Celeborn.
Cannot much tell difference with elves.


DAY TWENTY-TWO

Left Lothlorien. Have been paddling in boats for days. Am getting v. lonely.
Hobbits looking not so bad. Rather cute in fact, despite mullet haircuts. Canno
t
get near Frodo without getting bitten on kneecaps by Sam, and Pippin dating
Boromir, so will see if perhaps Merry wants to take a nice moonlit stroll tonig
ht.
Hurrah for warrior-bonds between men.
-----------------------
C'est le lutte finale
Groupons-nous et demain
L'Internationale
Sera le genre humaine
-----------------------
soliyah.lapja.hu

--
Besplatni e-mail - http://webmail.iskon.hr/

A szex a legpraktikusabb módja a súlyleadásnak.

A legújabb amerikai felmérések szerint:

Ruha levétele
A beleegyezésével.......................12 kalória
A beleegyezése nélkül..................187 kalória

A melltartó levétele
Mindkét kézzel...........................8 kalória
Egyik kézzel............................12 kalória
Egyik kézzel, miközben pofoz............37 kalória
Szájjal.................................85 kalória

Gumióvszer felhúzása
Erektált céltárgyra......................6 kalória
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Előjáték
A csikló megkeresésével..................8 kalória
A G pont megkeresésével.................92 kalória
Egyikkel sem törődve.....................0 kalória

Aktus közben
A partnert megemelve....................12 kalória
A padlóra fektetve.......................8 kalória

Pozitúra
Misszionárius póz.......................12 kalória
69-es póz fekve..........................8 kalória
69-es póz állva........................112 kalória
Bevásárlókocsi póz.....................216 kalória
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Orgazmus
Valódi.................................112 kalória
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Utójáték
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Második erekció produkálása
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Öltözés
Csendben................................32 kalória
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A férj/feleség ajtónyitását hallva....1218 kalória

Sziasztok!

A multkor en is hallottam egy sztorit ami alatamasztja a rendorviccek jogossaga
t:

Egy meg nem nevezett keruletben epitkezes zajlott. A hazepites celjara vasarolt
 teglat szepen feltornyoztak a telek ele. Egy hatranyos helyzetu banda meg ugy 
gondolta, hogy este amikor az epitkezok mar lelepnek, megfujjak a teglat. Oda i
s alltak egy szep nagy teherautoval es nekialltak elpakolni a cuccost. Arra jar
t a rend derek ore, mire a banda gyorsan nekiallt visszatornyozni a teglat, aho
gy volt hatha megusszak...
A rendor kert toluk teruletfoglaltatasi engedelyt, es mivel ezt nem tudtak felm
utatni, felrakatta a teglat a teherautora es elkuldta a bandat francba...

masnap nem igazan kapott erte dicseretet...    

udv
Greg

(webes bekuldes, a bekuldo gepe: serial0.softrain.nextra.hu)

Köszönöm,hogy elküldtétek a hiányzó számokat,de már mind megvan.Többet ne
küldjetek.kösz: tusó

- Igen, Doktor ur, a ferjemet akit a gozhenger elutott,  szeretnek  meg 
egyszer latni.  Talan at tudna ot nekem faxolni?